My vacation was a vacation

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San Francisco was great. I didn’t drink, I saw and did so many things that I wanted to, and I had a relaxing time. You know the saying “I need a vacation from my vacation”? Well that used to be me, every time. But this vacation was different. I came back refreshed and happy. I feel like parts of myself woke up, came alive while I was away. I remember everything.

The best part was the mornings. While my friends were snoozing away I got up and explored. Grand View Park, Ocean Beach, Botanical Gardens and the Japanese Tea Garden. These are all things I went and did by myself. And I was so happy! I couldn’t find a dry place to sit on Ocean Beach so I walked in the water, eating a chocolate croissant and was the happiest girl on the planet.

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Speaking of croissants. There were two amazing bakeries very close to our Airbnb and I went to them three times each while I was there. I didn’t drink but I sure did eat a ton of baked goods. I didn’t know what a Chinese Bakery was or that they even existed before going to SF. I hope I can find one here in Denver (just checked, we have them).

I still went out to bars with my friends. I had fun but it was mostly very boring. The first hour or so was usually good. We were able to have coherent and stimulating conversations. However, once my friends started to get a buzz and then eventually get drunk, it wasn’t fun anymore. Drinking is a social activity but at the same time you spend a lot of time in your own head. You think about what you want to say next, wonder if everyone is paying enough attention to you, are you being funny enough. It’s social and anti-social at the same time. So when you’re the only sober one you notice everything because nothing is numbed or dulled. I found myself getting annoyed over things that I normally wouldn’t have. I was relieved each night when the Uber came to take us away.

I proved to myself that I could go on vacation while sober and have a really nice time. This accomplishment makes me hopeful for the future. I feel strong.

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